


Seeking Perfection

by madeleine334



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Adoption, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22608244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madeleine334/pseuds/madeleine334
Summary: Sam marries the farmer, Gilbert, and everything seems perfect. Years into their marriage, Sam asks Gilbert about adoption. "Not now..." is always the answer he receives. Sam just wants to know when.
Relationships: Sam/Male Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Seeking Perfection

When Gilbert handed Sam the bouquet, Sam felt his heart leap into his throat. So he wasn’t the only one that held these feelings. Sam’s cheeks felt warm and he knew that he was blushing. Gilbert held a small smile on his face as he watched Sam accept the flowers. Sam knew that the farmer had already become close with other members of the community; after all, he had become a real member of the community after his first two years. He helped Alex’s grandparents from time to time, he checked on Shane almost every day, something that Sam was a bit jealous about at first, and he even hung out with the little kids in town with Penny when he could. Gilbert was just so nice, he was so...perfect, and here he was, giving Sam a bouquet of flowers, telling Sam that he wanted to be more than just friends.

“T-thank you,” Sam smiled, “I, I feel the same!”

Gilbert’s smile became a little bigger.

*** 

When Sam had snuck Gilbert in his room and they shared their first kiss, Sam knew that this was the person he was meant to be with. It just felt right and the farmer was just so...perfect. Sam thought that maybe he could love this man, no, he knew he could love this man.

*** 

The Mermaid Pendant weighted heavily in his hands. He showed his mom and dad, not knowing what else to do. He showed Sebastian and Abigail the day after, telling them that there would be a wedding soon.

His mom was absolutely over the moon, as she and Gilbert had become good friends over the years. She told him that she would begin making the preparations for their ceremony and the reception. His dad simply placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small nod in approval before surprising him by pulling him in for a hug. It was a bit awkward and it was obvious his father had no idea how to hug his son anymore, but he was trying. 

Vincent asked him if he would still come visit him, which made Sam nearly fall apart.

“Of course,” he assured his little brother. “I’ll come visit you as much as I can and you can come visit me,” he added, sure that his future husband wouldn’t mind his family coming by every now and then to visit.

“Yay!” Vincent cheered, hugging his brother and smiling bigger than Sam had seen in a while.

*** 

Life on the farm was...different, for sure. Sam woke up to an empty bed on most days, his husband already up and checking on the crops and farm animals. It was a bit saddening to wake up alone on some days, but he knew that his husband was working hard to make sure they had a good life. He brought in fresh crops and animal products for sale and for their own personal use. When he was done with that in the mornings, though, Gilbert always came back in to greet him and to make sure he had eaten lunch, or brunch if Sam was lucky enough.

Eventually, Sam began getting more into the swing of things. He began waking up with his husband, feeding the animals and making sure their cat, Ocelot, had plenty of food. He even learned how to repair their fences around the property. The calluses on his hands were no longer from just playing his guitar.

When he began waking up earlier than Gilbert, he made sure to make him breakfast. To be fair, that tended to be instant pancakes for breakfast and microwave pizza that he packed up for Gilbert to have later in the day. Gilbert never complained, in fact, he made sure to give his husband a kiss on the lips as a sign of his gratitude every morning. His perfect husband, ever so sweet and caring.

*** 

Sam lay against his husband’s chest after their love making, humming in delight from it. He was so happy, incredibly so. “Gilbert?” he decided to ask. There was something that had been on his mind for a while, something that he knew that he would be unable to give the farmer that owned his heart.

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think about having kids?”

The farmer was silent for a moment, thinking over the question that was suddenly sprung up on him. “I do sometimes,” he admitted. 

“What do you think about it?” Sam asked. “Do you want kids?”

“I think so,” he said, kissing his husband’s sweaty forehead, “Someday.”

Sam smiled. “I want kids one day with you,” he then said. “We could adopt.”

“We’d have to,” Gilbert chuckled, nuzzling his husband.

*** 

It was another two months later that Sam asked.

“Gilbert, do you think we should adopt?”

“Not now...”

*** 

Over the past two years of their marriage, Sam asked Gilbert three times total and every time, he received the same answer: “Not now...”

 _When?_ he always asked himself, unable to voice his question after the rejection.

After denying him, Gilbert always made sure to pamper Sam with cuddles and morning breakfast in bed. Even the busy farmer would occasionally make an exception in his morning rituals to take care of his husband after rejecting him.

“I love you,” Gilbert told him every morning and every night. 

Sam believed him completely, knowing that the farmer meant it every time he said it. “I love you, too,” he would respond, meaning it just as much.

Occasionally Gilbert would bring in furniture that he knew Sam had been eyeing from catalogues and magazines. Sam wondered if these were the farmer apologizing.

*** 

Sam, Sebastian, and Abigail were all in Sebastian’s room, sitting on the floor as they went through another session for their bi-weekly D&D campaign.

“A wizard walked through the valley, summoning slimes with his staff to attack the poor townsfolk that lived on the outskirts of the city’s walls,” Sebastian said as he began to prepare for the group to enter combat. “Go ahead and roll for initiative,” he told them.

“Wait,” Sam said, halting Abigail as she lifted her hand to drop her dice onto the table. “Can I talk to you two about something?”

“Sure man,” Sebastian said, looking concerned over his best friend suddenly stopping their campaign. Sam usually wasn’t one to voice his concerns during their D&D sessions. Usually they were reserved for one on one time or scheduled meetings where it was known that one of them needed to talk about something.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” Abigail asked, placing a comforting hand on his. He allowed her to hold it, grateful for the comfort.

“It’s just,” his lip trembled, “Gilbert and I have talked about adopting kids, but ever since the first time we talked about it, every time I bring it up, he keeps telling me “Not now” and I don’t know what changed.”

Abigail looked over to Sebastian, both sharing the same look of shock and worry for their friend.

“Sam, we had no idea,” Sebastian began. “I didn’t even know you wanted children.”

“Have you asked him why he wants to wait?” Abigail then asked.

“No,” Sam admitted, a bit embarrassed with himself. “I get nervous every time I ask him if he wants to adopt soon. It’s like the rejection suddenly holds me back from voicing anything else.” He could feel himself trembling as he spoke. These two were his best friends, they would know what to do. “It’s like,” he sighed, “It’s like there is something physically holding me back from speaking.”

“You need to talk to Gilbert about this,” Abigail told him, her hand still holding his. He was grateful for that. “Sam,” he gripped his hand lightly, “you can’t make Gilbert be ready, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know that,” he said. “I just want to know why...”

“What if he decides he doesn’t want kids?” Sebastian then asked.

“Seb,” Abigail almost hissed.

“It’s a valid question,” he shot back at her before looking to Sam.

“Oh,” Sam frowned, “I mean, I think that I could learn to live with that decision. Abigail’s right, I can’t make Gilbert do anything or feel anything. If he doesn’t want kids, then he doesn’t want kids.”

“Are kids make or break?” Abigail then asked, almost like a whisper.

Sam never thought of it. If he were to never become a father, would that be okay? “I guess I never really thought about kids seriously until Gilbert and I got married. Now, I certainly is something that I want to experience. I helped raise Vincent when my dad was deployed and it just became a part of me,” he looked to his friends. “I think I really want kids and I really hope that Gilbert does, too.”

“I think you need to think about that a little more,” Abigail told him. “You and Gilbert need to talk, too.”

Sebastian nodded in agreement.

“You’re right,” Sam let out a sigh. “So,” he sat up looking down at their character sheets,” how about we stop this wizard in his tracks.” And just like that, the game was back on.

*** 

He had been agonizing over it for days now. It kept him up at night and he ended up sleeping past his usual wake up time, missing Gilbert before he went out to do farm things. Gilbert would come in sometimes and wake him up, telling him that he had finished picking crops and came in to check on Sam before going out to milk the cows and gather eggs. Gilbert always asked Sam what was on his mind or what was bothering him. Every time, Sam insists that it’s nothing, just had a bad dream or that he was stressed about something that had to do with his parents or an argument he had with Sebastian or Abigail, mentally cursing himself for throwing his friends under the bus over something that wasn’t even true.

It’s another few days before Sam can’t hide it anymore. 

“Gil?” he asked a bit weakly, mentally cursing himself to immediately falling weak to the conversation they were about to have.

“Yeah, Sam?” his husband asked, joining him at the dining room table.

A tear rolled down Sam’s cheek before he could stop it. His husband was on him in an instant, cradling his head against his chest. “Sam, what’s wrong?”

Sam trembled, hating that he was already crying. Oh Yoba, he didn’t want to fall apart so easily. “Why do you keep saying not now what I ask about us adopting?” He took in a deep breath. “I just want to know why, Gil.”

Gilbert was still, still holding Sam close to him. “I...I should have told you earlier,” his husband began slowly. He pressed a kiss to the top of Sam’s head. “It’s not that I don’t want children, Sam.”

“Then what is it?” Sam asked, clutching to his farmer.

“I just want everything to be, well, perfect.”

Sam didn’t understand. They had a home, they had room. Gilbert had even had Robin add on to the house in preparation of adding to their family.

“What I mean is, I wanted the house to be extended. I wanted plenty of room for them to grow up. I wanted the house to have everything they would ever need. I’ve been slowly making sure we have furniture for their room, for the living room, and for the rest of the house.”

Sam thought about what Gilbert was saying and suddenly it made sense. When Gilbert came in with furniture he or Sam had been eyeing, it wasn’t for an apology, or maybe it was, but it was for their family, for their future family. He was making sure their house was good enough for their future child.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything sooner,” Gilbert said. “I shouldn’t have kept it to myself. I knew that it was bothering you, but I didn’t do anything, I just kept doing as I have been.” There was a shakiness to his voice. “I didn’t want to bring a child into our home without being able to provide them with everything they will ever want or need. I don’t want them to grow up like, like I did.”

Sam clung harder to his husband and he understood now why Gilbert had suddenly been so hesitant. “I understand,” he told him. “I had a hard childhood, too,” he began. “We grew up in ZuZu City where my dad was off and on at home with my mom struggling to keep the house together on her own, worried with my dad being deployed. That’s why we moved here after Vincent was born.”

“Sam, there is something else that I need to tell you,” Gilbert then said. He moved away, almost looking regretful as he did so. He walked to their room before coming back with a large envelope in his hands. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for a few days, but I couldn’t really get up the courage.” He handed the envelope to Sam.

Sam took it and began opening it, eyes widening as he saw what it was his husband had been doing without Sam knowing.

“We have an interview with an adoption agency about a baby girl,” Gilbert told him.

Sam gently placed the little girl’s profile onto the table before standing up and nearly tackling Gilbert with a hug. “I love you,” Sam said over and over, unable to stop the tears from flowing and not really caring. He just wanted to hold his perfect husband, who had just told him that they were about to be parents.

“I love you, too, Sam,” Gilbert said, clutching to his husband.

Sam sure would feel foolish that next day when he explained everything to his two best friends, right before he broke the news to his mom, dad, and little brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Gilbert is the farmer I have paired with Sam. If I ever write another one, I will most likely keep that pairing or pair Sebastian with Phillip, my other farmer. There is also the possibility of just keeping the farmer un named.
> 
> Regardless, I always feel bad when telling Sam we have to wait on adoption because I want the house to be perfect before children. That is what inspired this story.
> 
> None of my fics have a beta, so sorry for any mistakes.


End file.
